Read Between the Lines of my FACE

My Path to Creative Mastery WEEK 9

Oh no! Is it true? That a woman disappears after 50 years old? I know so many powerful women over 50. Perhaps only I can see them?

The other night I got paralyzed by “the fear”.

Drawn by a very talented pre-schooler at the spring break camp I was teaching. This drawing depicts how I felt being surrounded by “the fear”.

Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of aging. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of having too many fears.

I can’t keep writing a weekly blog? Can I? What th’?

Look how grey my hair is getting.. Should I dye it? I have a grey pube! I have 2 grey pubes. Omg look at the lines around my eyes.. I can’t exercise that away.

I have a show to make by May 28th. Why am I making a show that so clearly shows where I came from? Is it too ugly? Am I too ugly?…

And I’m aging! It’s happening! Is that arthritis in my wrist? Am I soon going to disappear from the eyes of society?

Did I do the healthy things to move it on? Did I sit with the physical feeling? Did I write about it, or meditate?

No. I smoked, ate popcorn and binge watched netflix until I fell asleep with the computer on.

What a party.

Oh jeez. Did I just tell you that? Have I no shame? I have NO SHAME!

But I ask you please, Read between the lines in my face.

There it is. Evidence of life being well lived. The experience. The broken hearts. The disappointments. The lovers. The travels. The learnings. The risks. The dreams. The creations. The choices. The sex. The love.FACE. On a pretty good day.

I am but a teenager of my elder years. — I said that, Candice Roberts, and I just quoted myself.

It seems a woman who has lost her reproductive abilities is less attractive to the world? Is she less powerful? Is beauty power? But what is beauty?

Read between the lines. Beauty to me is movement, experience, story, love… the ability to see and be seen… beauty is being vulnerability, being creative, being risky, risque…

What is beauty to you?

I have been meeting some amazing women over 50. When I do, I am keen to know them. They are doing it. They are speaking out, making waves, shaking things up! They are making GOOD ART.

Women like Beth Harrington. She’s an independent producer, director and writer whose fervor for American history, music and culture has led to a series of award-winning and critically acclaimed films. (I took that from her bio.) She is so smart and spicy, I just love to be in her presence. Check out her projects, including the latest: The Musicianer.

And there is my dear friend Carlotta, who, by the way is over 70 and is teaching yoga and performing puppet shows. We have never met in person but are modern day pen-pals who share our hopes dreams and experiences with each other over email. She has a lot of wisdom she shares with me. She is lithe, fit, inspired and also strong minded and happy with who she is. She tells me that:

“Those getting old fears will actually LESSEN with age. Practice makes perfect, or perfect enough.”

Also, I will mention my friend Heather, whom I met at clown school. When I met Heather she was Regional Director for the Complex Mental Health and Addiction program in Vancouver.

She is passionate about working with marginalized populations and was Vancouver Coastal Health’s lead for the Downtown Eastside Health and Safety initiatives for 12 years. Heather knows the power of the integration of the arts in health.

She is a HUGE supporter of the arts and has personally given me huge opportunities to learn and grow around combining my mental health work with my arts practice. She is fun loving, fiery and opinionated. (yeah! go Heather!) She is a powerful woman and in her power she is learning to be vulnerable. Heather is huge inspiration to me.

Thank you Beth, Carlotta and Heather for forging ahead and doing what you love. It is so helpful to me.

Are you a woman over 50? Are you making art? Are you speaking up? Please drop me a line! I’d love to hear about what you are up to.

Oh right, this is my blog documenting my path of creative mastery through tap dance.

Well guess what world? I did 0 hours of tap dance this week. However, you may notice that my goal is around obtaining “creative mastery”, and not the tap dance itself. So here’s the deal. Sometimes you have to be easy on yourself. It’s ok, I’m not giving up.

I didn’t tap dance this week because I was teaching music and clown to preschoolers at a spring break camp 5 days in row. On top of this, I was practicing with The Assembly (an all women clown collective). We have a show MARCH 23rd and 24th! Come see it!THE ASSEMBLY!

I was also practicing with the Myrtle Family Band.

I was teaching kinder clown and physical theatre to kids. (Drop in for kinder clown is encouraged!) TUESDAYS at 3:30! Parents, let’s talk about the importance of self expression in Community and Mental Health!

I also co-produced the Dusty Flowerpot’s March Edition of Third Thursday Cabaret. Do you have an act you wish to perform? Go to the Dusty Flowerpot Cabaret website and sign up!My Sister Kat Single-Dain’s genius Disco Baby Piece. See the whole dance HERE.

Also, let us not forget the morning journaling, exercising, reading and writing. I do that. I guess I live a creative life. So there.

I always welcome feedback, comments and constructive criticism. Grammar, mistakes, inspirations, thoughts… bring it on.

Do you wish to be more creative in your life?

Let’s keep the creative energy moving. Feel free to message me: candybonestheatre@gmail.com

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